My work threw a Cinco de Mayo party last night entitled "Cinco de Munny", where we all had to decorate Munny figures and bring them to the party to be raffled off. Photos of this year's Munnies aren't up yet but last year's photos will give you an idea how creative people get when decorating their Munnies.

( The Munny I decorated for this year's party )

( The Munny I won in the raffle )

P.S. It's been so long since I've been on LJ it took me a few minutes to remember the HTML code. ;_;

I woke from a horrific nightmare this morning; I dreamt there was a dog that had been hit by a car and had lost the lower half of it's body laying in the middle of the street, and it was still alive. I was crying hysterically and screaming at the driver of the car I was in to pull over, but they wouldn't stop.

Harm to animals makes me really sad. I don't even like it when kids chase the pigeons at work. I don't know why parents don't teach their children respect for living things. :(

/sadpost

It hasn't quite been a year since I last posted... I keep thinking that someday I'll drag myself back to my one true love, LiveJournal, but then I remember that no one really reads LJ anymore. My words will fall on deaf ears. ;_;

I don't even know why I feel possessed to post tonight, I don't have much to say. My dad is sick so I did his grocery shopping for him today, and I took Buddy to the groomers this afternoon since he decided to lay in a puddle at dog park. Cleaned my car out. Wanted to clean my room and work on commissions but I think I'll watch BSG instead. I have the next three days off work but then I work 6 days next week.



♥

Maybe I'll keep this up.

On the walk home from BART tonight I thought long and hard about the last time I was truly happy, and I figured that that was almost two years ago, when I was still a blond. Way to make yourself cry, Shea.

I swear, I really do! I see people defriending me left and right (I don't blame them, I've been a noncontributing zero the last few months) but I swear I'm alive and well! Yaya, Mandy, Kat, Jenn... well, EVERYONE--I swear I will call one of these days. Hey! I see your eyes rolling... (I know, I fail.) I even have costume plans!! Look, I'm a guest at the Phoenix Comic Con:

http://www.phoenixcomicon.com/index.php?option=com_fjrelated&view=fjrelated&layout=blog&id=0&Itemid=21

lionboogy OMIGAWWWWWWWWWWW



Amazing. Simply amazing!!!

I don't know if I ever made the announcement here on LJ, but I'm working on the new Star Wars Galaxy: 5 sketch card set from Topps. I signed up to draw 100, and I'm about a quarter of the way through right now and OH MY GEE my back is killing me. The problem with drawing is that it's not the kind of job you can just sit for a few straight hours and work on. I have to take a lot of little breaks every 20-30 minutes because I'm always hunched over the table and it makes my neck and shoulders really sore. So what would have been a 30-minute sketch turns into a 2-hour sketch. D:

Anyway, it's exciting to be sure. It's A) my first real art job, B) OFFICIAL STAR WARS ART :DDD, and C) I get to draw anyone and everyone in the Star Wars EU. It's amazing. An EU fan's wet dream, seriously. I can't believe I get to draw all the obscure characters that I love so much, like Cheriss ke Hanadi and Myri Antilles. I wish I had more time to work on them cause I would've signed up for 300 if I could have. I also wish I could post some progress ones but they're under wraps until the set comes out :x

It's been a good distraction from all the things that are making me sad lately. I'm still sad about things, and I wish I could stop thinking about things that are making me sad so much, but... eh, times heals everything. I just have to find things to keep my brain occupied.

P.S. If you have any SWEU characters you'd like to see drawn, shout 'em out here because I'm running out of ideas LOL.

I've been spending the last few days reflecting on this year and how it has profoundly affected me, and I wanted to write some of it down before I watched the ball drop this evening.

This is the fastest a year has gone by for me yet. I always say every year how fast time flies, but this is the first year that I've felt it go by significantly quicker than previous years. I remember exactly where I was last New Year's like it was yesterday, and Cats seems like it was over just a few weeks ago, not months. I wonder if it's because I'm getting older, or if it's just because of the events that have had so much of a significant impact on me this particular year that makes time feel like it's going by that much faster.

I spent last New Year's Eve in tears; I wonder if I'll cry again this year? Probably, but for different reasons. Do I see this year as a failure? I've lost so many meaningful relationships... but I made so many new ones. And lost them again. :\ I don't think this year was a failure, but that I was inevitably destined to have a year of great upheaval so that my world could be turned upside-down and I could start over again. I can't say I'm happy with how I've been treating my life since everything changed, but it's my life and my choices and now that I've made that bed I have nothing left to do but sleep in it.

My heart feels like there's a great chasm in it right now, so full of emptiness. When I make a mental list of all the good and bad things that have happened to me this year, the list of good things is longer than the bad, but the bad was so acute that it's like weighing feathers to lead. I feel like I have aged ten years in this one year, and with 25 around the corner I'm no longer the carefree person I was only a few short years ago. This soul-crushing sadness has robbed me of my mental youth, even if my physical youth is still intact. I'm taking steps to become a happy person again, taking control of what I can control, but you know... there's really only so much you can control. And that's the unfortunate thing, because even though you can't control everything, they can still make you sad. Maybe you can't control your brother's heroine addiction, but it still breaks your heart. And my heart, I'm just so tired of it being broken, and then almost healing, and then being ripped apart again. This time when it heals there's going to be a big, ugly scar.

I'm going to do my best to not dwell on 2009, but I don't have the clairvoyance I usually have about the upcoming year. I don't know what is going to happen to me in 2010. I'll just have to ride the boat and see what's in store.